RAIN AFTER ASH -DAY 5 Rehearsal – Marnie Mosiman

DAY 5 –Rehearsal…Rain After Ash

Lying on the dusty floor at ATV- drunk…or at least trying to remember drunkenness…was I ever so drunk that I lay on the floor singing? Maybe…

I certainly remember the little ones, their grins and giggles as I made up songs to tickle them under their chins, their bare little toes. As I think back, so many of the things I’ve almost lost- or feared that I would lose- push to the front of my brain. It’s rather frightening…I worry that the mere thought will make the terror manifest, as if thinking might make it so. The line between premonition and irrational fear- when one loves so fiercely, is it possible to let go? What’s the difference between trying to hold onto a connection with a child on the other side of the globe –

or on the other side of life? I live in a reality I’ve created from my memory, real or not-  and it doesn’t  matter if anyone else acknowledges the same reality.  Is this madness? Perhaps…and I understand that way to madness…